Hurricanes Are Kisses

"Irresponsibility, Maria’s never been irresponsible. When she was little, she was responsible for..."

Sun, 19 May 2013 19:47:20 +0200

““Irresponsibility, Maria’s never been irresponsible. When she was little, she was responsible for protecting everybody else from her own shit around her gender - responsible for making sure her parents didn’t have to have a weird kid. Of course, then they had a weird, sad kid anyway, right? Whatever. That’s when responsibility at the expense of self became a habit: she did not care about school, but she knew her parents would be sad if she didn’t go to college, since certain things are expected from you when you do well on standardised tests, so she scraped by and paid attention. Then, with drugs, it’s like, she took them all, but always in such moderation that it wasn’t really dangerous. Even when she was throwing up or incoherent, it was in a controlled situation. She never went to jail, never had the police bring her home, never got caught breaking curfew or went to the hospital or anything. And then she came to New York, paid her rent, had a job, kept her head down, had relationships with people where making the relationship run smoothly was more important than being present in it. Which did not work. It’s clear that being responsible has not been a positive force in her life. It has been fucking everything up.”

- Imogen Binnie, Nevada

This book is giving me a lot of feelings right now.

(via lifeonthisside)

Yeah. Feels. Loads of them.

fotojournalismus: El Paso, Texas, 1972. [Credit : Danny...

Sun, 19 May 2013 18:52:32 +0200

fotojournalismus:

El Paso, Texas, 1972.

[Credit : Danny Lyon]

Lolita, anyone?

The Only Magic Left is Art: Terrible Twenties

Sat, 18 May 2013 02:28:10 +0200

The Only Magic Left is Art: Terrible Twenties:

rodneybrown:

I heard some guy say once that we start to get the most out of life when we begin to look at ourselves as more of a supporting role rather than the main character. I think he’s on to something.

the millennial problem:

Fri, 10 May 2013 23:46:59 +0200

gyzym:

two millennials are barreling towards adulthood at 95 miles per hour. one of them has been coated with the most extravagant paint money can buy, but their steering apparatus is locked up until that coat’s paid off; the other’s breaks have been ripped out mid-trip, the thief yelling, “what, did you think you were entitled to these?” over their shoulder. half the tracks have been torn away to build second, third, and fifth garages for trains that are no longer running. solve for x.

tell me again how the song goes — i’m so inadequate i might forget. if we’re not informed enough then we’re apathetic morons, but if we’re too informed we’re oversensitive reactionaries; if we think we deserve more then we’re narcissistic cutthroats, but if we’re happy where we are then we’re passionless layabouts. if we’re making money then we’re materialistic automatons who only care about stuff and don’t value the important things in life, but if we’re broke then we’re disgusting, spoiled children who expect everything in life to be a handout. if we spend too much time with technology then we’re antisocial, soulless zombies who spell the end for human interaction as we know it, but if we spend too much time together we’re a dangerous, unstable element who should get real jobs already. we’re a disgrace; we’re a embarrassment; we’re a mistake; we’re a disappointment; we’re not what you wanted, however you slice it, and all of it’s our fault, right? right? oh, god, am i getting the melody wrong?

here’s what i propose, everyone who wants to open their twenty-four-hour news cycles or their pork-barrel mouths, who wants to use their filthy fucking hands to tear this generation a new one: you try it. you come up with a picture of the generation you seem to want: one that’s neither apathetic nor engaged, one that’s neither ambitious nor content, one that’s neither rich nor poor, one that’s neither technologically connected nor interpersonally involved. don’t forget to factor in the variables — the years of economic instability; the globalization of everything from communication to art; the hugely stratified individual experiences we’ve had based on things like race, sexuality, gender, and socioeconomics, on things that come with whole histories of systemic bullshit; the overwhelming burden of student debt that so many of us face; the fact that hindsight is 20/20. you write the formula for the millennial that will shut you the fuck up about all the things we should be and aren’t, about all the ways we’ve failed you, and then you bring it to me. i promise you, i will try it. anything for a little peace and quiet, right? anything to stop hearing it everywhere i go: that voice saying that, at twenty-three, i might already have flunked out of life.

(both millennials crash, spectacularly and yelling for help, into the station that never built a platform for them to pull into. onlookers stand by and shake their heads, wondering about the deplorable state of trains today. that’s what happens when nobody does the fucking math.)

Yeah, you fucking do it, cause it’s your own fucking fault in the first place, previous generation.

thathollowpartofme: He could see it all so clearly now. That was the curse of retrospect, he...

Tue, 07 May 2013 15:39:25 +0200

thathollowpartofme:

He could see it all so clearly now. That was the curse of retrospect, he thought. The realization that all the signs were there, only you didn’t put them together.

She was not a happy person. There was a cold vein of sadness running through her centre like a long sliver of ice and for a long time he thought that he could make her happy. His love would make her happy. But love is not a cure. Love is not medicine.

And love is not everything.

theonlymagicleftisart: (Alexzandria Jade) Hell is just the...

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 20:19:59 +0200

theonlymagicleftisart:

(Alexzandria Jade)

Hell is just the place you go to when you hate yourself.

jessfink: Spring is here, time to air out your pubes Ms. Fink,...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 21:50:49 +0200

jessfink:

Spring is here, time to air out your pubes

Ms. Fink, I have a serious case of internet crush on you.

“There is more to you than that.”“I know...

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 18:04:12 +0200

“There is more to you than that.”
“I know that! I know! But I’m not here to save you. I’m the main character of my life!” -Daydream Nation

I feel like an extra in everyone’s lives and even when I manage to claw my way out of the background, I still can’t get further than secondary character: daughter, girlfriend, lover, source of inspiration, et fucking cetera.

Ritual

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 23:26:55 +0100

Red. Blue black, then yellow. All of a sudden, gone again.

I press against it, push fingers in appropriate places. Make it last.

I forget (to forget?) and it fades. A whisper, no longer a scream.

A light touch and it’s back again. I want to moan like the cheapest whore.

And just beneath my skin, I feel wild.

I sort of wish I had done this first.

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:13:25 +0100

I sort of wish I had done this first.

Salt. In tears and sweat, alone; mixed with copper in blood and...

Mon, 11 Mar 2013 10:00:22 +0100

Salt. In tears and sweat, alone; mixed with copper in blood and saliva, because of course you brush your teeth before we kiss.

Sea salt drying on my skin and the feverish warmth the sun leaves behind when summer’s just started and the evenings are still cool.

Salty sweat stains on the car seat, because there’s no air conditioning and it’s one of those days in which opening the window only makes it worse.

It’s one of those times when opening the window might get us arrested.

Salt in wet cheeks and silence.

It was never snow covering the earth. It was salt.

"You guys know about vampires? … You know, vampires have no reflections in a mirror? There’s this..."

Sat, 19 Jan 2013 16:17:09 +0100

““You guys know about vampires? … You know, vampires have no reflections in a mirror? There’s this idea that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. And what I’ve always thought isn’t that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. It’s that if you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves. And growing up, I felt like a monster in some ways. I didn’t see myself reflected at all. I was like, “Yo, is something wrong with me? That the whole society seems to think that people like me don’t exist? And part of what inspired me, was this deep desire that before I died, I would make a couple of mirrors. That I would make some mirrors so that kids like me might see themselves reflected back and might not feel so monstrous for it.””

- Junot Diaz (via Tatiana Richards)

Those Yellow Mornings

Wed, 16 Jan 2013 02:37:14 +0100

thathollowpartofme:

I remember thinking that this is what I wanted out of life, that if I could have mornings like this for the rest of my life I would be happy. I didn’t need anything else.

It was summer and the fan hummed with the rhythm of my heart. It wouldn’t be long before things started to go to shit, but those mornings were perfect in a way I hadn’t known before or known since.

I miss the sun. And when I have it, I miss the snow.

I just can’t win and there’s no way to change the rules.

"Don’t ever tell yourself that you can fix her. Don’t tell yourself that you can fix her on one of..."

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 13:40:32 +0100

“

Don’t ever tell yourself that you can fix her. Don’t tell yourself that you can fix her on one of those nights when you take her home and you whisper in her, ‘Everything is okay, you don’t have to worry.’ Don’t say that stuff. Don’t even think it.

But you will.

”

- thehollowpartofme: Don’ts (A Response)

It’s okay to just be.

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 21:40:14 +0100

It’s okay to just be.

Self-Help

Sat, 12 Jan 2013 19:01:29 +0100

It was (William James’) works on the more mundane matters I relied on—how to make changes in your life, how to believe you can make changes in your life, how to convince yourself to get out of bed in the morning, how not to be a worthless slug.

Jessa Crispin

When someone asks what I’m doing in Newcastle, I smile and say, “Oh, I’m an Erasmus student!” That’s the easy answer. The complicated one is more along the lines of, I wanted to hide, I wanted to run and never look back, I wanted to start over. My university course bored me to tears, my parents were getting divorced, my favourite band was falling apart and I just didn’t know who I was anymore. I wanted to find out.

Obviously (disappointingly), it’s not that easy. Most days, it feels like I never really left. I speak to my boyfriend every day. My parents still drag me into every one of their petty squabbles. I agonize over how much time I’ve lost being bored instead of doing things I like. I still feel like everyone around me is telling me to grow the hell up.

And I will. I promise. I just need to learn again how to get up each morning and move instead of having to spend hours staring at the ceiling convincing myself that getting out of bed is good.

On a side note, read that essay I just linked. It’s long and doesn’t involve half as much sex as anything I link to usually does, but it’s worth it. Seriously, READ IT.

He says he’s the one who howls and whistles and...

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 07:36:24 +0100

He says he’s the one who howls and whistles and occasionally sings. I’m not scared, though. I know that people with a song in their hearts and a whistle on their lips and a howl in their throats are the ones I can trust to look at me and not look away.

"One should always be drunk. That’s the great thing, the only question. Not to feel the horrible..."

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 04:41:52 +0100

“One should always be drunk. That’s the great thing, the only question. Not to feel the horrible burden of Time weighing on your shoulders and bowing you to the earth, you should be drunk without respite. Drunk with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you please.”

- Charles Baudelaire

Being whole

Sat, 05 Jan 2013 21:07:52 +0100

therealkatiewest:

I am not just one thing. I cannot simply be a wife. Or a teacher. Or a photographer. Or a student. I am all of these things and when people expect me to only be one of those things, they are expecting me to stop being a whole person.

Remember when you were in middle school and you thought your teachers lived at the school and whenever you saw them anywhere that was decidedly not at school, you were shocked and kind of couldn’t fathom that your teachers were actually whole people? Who did stuff? That wasn’t teaching? What a disservice we did our teachers. Or how about remember when we were extremely rude to the McDonald’s cashier because they were the McDonald’s cashier and there were pickles on our burger when we specifically asked for no pickles and we forgot that that McDonald’s cashier was also a son, and a writer, and a student, and a boyfriend, and a hero to his younger sister?

It seems like such a simple thing to not expect people to only be one thing. And it’s strange because people simultaneously tell us to have varied interests and facets of ourselves while expecting us to be just one thing. If we are just a teacher, then we are easier to ignore. If we are just a McDonald’s cashier, then we are easier to treat badly. If we are just a woman, then we are easier to pass over. For example.

If your students see you working at The Keg, laugh because lord knows (and now they do too) that you can’t afford your mortgage on a teacher’s salary. If that jerk is rude to you because pickles were mistakenly placed on her burger, laugh because you know your sister made you a cape last weekend and it’s likely no one ever made this jerk a cape. If your boss is surprised that you are a painter, or your grandma thinks you shouldn’t vacation without your wife, or your teammates scoff when you tell them you write comics, or your boyfriend doesn’t like that you model for erotic photographers, laugh because you know you can’t be only one thing and it is RIDICULOUS for anyone to ever believe that you could be.

Sure, life might be easier if we hid most parts of ourselves to give the impression that we were only one thing, but fuck that. I would much rather be a whole person and have a life with potentially more difficulties, than pretend I am only one thing so I can be miserable in a slightly easier life. And hopefully the more people who see that we are whole people—that it is totally possible for us to be both musicians and bankers, artists and baseball players, sound engineers and baristas, tattoo artists and secretaries, data analysts and sci-fi writers, teachers and naked on the internet, photographers and taxi drivers, parole officers and inventors, vet technicians and fetish models—the more people who realize this possibility because more people are refusing to be simply one thing, the goddamn better.

Don’t ever let someone make you feel like you can only be one thing. Fuck that. Be everything.

These days, my own words seem insufficient and slow, ideas...

Thu, 03 Jan 2013 13:13:16 +0100

These days, my own words seem insufficient and slow, ideas swimming in treacle.

“ She thought of the damage people do to each other, sometimes incalculable, and then there was the damage you could do to yourself by toughening up. ”

- Jim Harrison | The Farmer’s Daughter